Green Haddock

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VARNDEAN COLLEGE HEROES OF FISH-SCALE KUNG-FU

Floundered, sorry, founded in 1872 by Grandmaster Haddock, the school of fish scale kung-fu has long been a noble art form. Studied by few, envied by many, it remains one of the deadliest (not to mention smelliest) forms of martial arts to have been revealed to the Western World.

Grandmaster Haddock unfortunately died in a freak accident with a laser-jet 46A toner cartridge, but the school has since been run by his protege 'Green Haddock', AKA 'Fish Fingers', AKA 'The bread-crumb warrior'. His nine-point, dusty-salmon-fin attack became his signature move at the Open Access Olympics,2004.

Green Haddock has many adversaries. Some of the top-ranking amongst them include:

Kier-on-won-kinobi, AKA 'Webmaster Whitbread' of the Open Universe City school of Kung fu

Chi Kung Grip Valentin, AKA 'The Spaniard, AKA 'The Big Boss', AKA, 'Phantom of the Opera' of the Madridian Areobi School of Tai Chi

"Barbarella", AKA 'The Cyber-Space-Pirate-Queen', AKA 'The Mechanic', special moves include 'Catalogue-Attack', and 'Server-frenzy Meltdown Chop'

'Corsa Express' , AKA, 'The King of Wi-Fi', AKA, 'Martin-many-moves-Bentley', in recent years has been driving the getaway vehicle for the infamous 'Simpsons gang' (who wear Simpson characters' masks when doing a job), hence the honarary title 'Corsa Express'.

'Dave-the-Decapitator-Rawlins', AkA, 'The property Baron' , AKA 'Mr. Ling-fa-Ling Laptop', has not been seen since he left to study an ancient manual on primitive technology in deepest China 2 years ago, but keep on your toes....he's here somewhere!